you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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