i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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