I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
