God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
