sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
