his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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