Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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