I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize