i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize