i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
