yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize