In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Panties = found
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