I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
