Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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