No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
