Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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