she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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