No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Shame - the story of my life.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
