just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
