I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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