come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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