I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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