are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
