How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
