I just made out with a guy for $7.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
