the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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