They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
