Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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