It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My vagina just clenched in fear
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
