I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
