Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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