Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
