my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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