i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
porn star boner night. come get it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
did i just pee glitter
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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