You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
