i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
