haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
