i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
