My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Randomize