Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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