its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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