he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
