How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
