you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
