look no pants
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
someone owes me an orgasm
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize