Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
