I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
