So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
