you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
