her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
