like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
