So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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