whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
