There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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