I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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