The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
