woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
