when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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