I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You need a sexual gate keeper
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
