Don't you send me to vm
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
