Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I came so hard my ears popped.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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