your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
