Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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